My favourite parenting website kidspot social has challenged kidspot bloggers to write their younger selves a letter. So here is mine.
Dear young Sarah,
It is NOT ok what he is doing to you. I know you don't know any different and I know you are afraid but please tell mum what is happening. He is not going to kill mum and dad like he says he will. You don't deserve this you are just an innocent little girl.
Life may seem normal for you, but seeing sex, seeing people do drugs, seeing people punch on is NOT normal. This is not a life you should be growing up in. Mum will leave, eventually. She will go into another abusive relationship but the majority of it is kept from you, although, you can see mum being affected. She will withdraw from you, she will have no time for you and you will become depressed, You will start self harming. You are going to do it anyway on and off for a couple of years but try not to. You will regret it later on.
You will also start to take your parents paths and smoke pot and drink. You will meet a guy through a friend, please, dont run away with him. He is only going to hurt you. He lies about his age, he gets you pregnant and forces you to abort with a threat. He also gets you to try drugs you usually wouldnt. This really hurts and you almost lose the plot because of it. You still think about the baby that never was, now . . .wondering but knowing it was for the better. The guy ends up in jail for murder.
Soon after You will meet someone at a party. Go for it. You fall in love and have 2 kids with him. But for fuck sake girl don't cheat on him! The self harm and pot smoking comes back into your life because of this. and For goodness sake don't forget to eat!You end up like a stick figure, it's disgusting!
You become a full time pot head until you have a massive panic attack after taking stilnox and drinking then smoking pot. It becomes a part of your life The anxiety, as much as it is hateful, saves you, stops you smoking pot and drinking and you gain some weight.
Soon after you find out you are pregnant with Leah the beautiful oldest daughter. You really pick your life up now. You have a son with him aswell and then, he leaves you for another woman, but, it's for the best, you were falling apart anyway. You will meet another man and have another 2 girls. This man is perfect. He is amazing and you will love him to pieces.
You guys will go through some really rough times but you will pull through. So don't fret huni, life may seem really shit at the moment but it does get better because YOU make it better! You fix your life and make it worth living and you are blessed with a wonderful family that make it even better. Be strong cause as hard as it seems you will make it through!
Love older sarah
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